Committing to Remembering
Have you heard of The Five Remembrances according to the Buddha? My first time hearing about them was in the 10% Happier podcast episode we shared in our January newsletter. I was drawn to their simplicity (not to be confused with ease) and directness, so I decided to start reciting them daily. And as though the universe were listening, I immediately got to put these ‘remembrances’ into practice…
1. I am of the nature to grow old. There is no way to escape growing old.
This first remembrance starts the same way as the next two - “I am of the nature to…” I like this. I like being reminded that things are going the way they are supposed to, and part of that involves aging. Recently I injured myself because I was so hellbent on doing something right at that moment without considering if I was really able or equipt to do so. My only thought was, ‘I can do that myself.’ I’m starting to see where I need to take a step back and ask if that’s really true - can I really do XYZ myself? Part of aging seems to be learning how to make this discernment, especially since I don’t recover as quickly from injuries as when I was younger.
2. I am of the nature to have ill health. There is no way to escape having ill health.
Right after I started reciting these remembrances, my right eye became bloodshot, which led me to CareNow, which led me to discovering I have high blood pressure. But the fun didn’t stop there! I then began the quest of trying to heal my eye (which got less bloodshot, but developed dry patches, which meant blurred vision) while also tweaking/changing my new blood pressure medication. And then I got COVID. I couldn’t help but be a little amused - indeed, I cannot avoid having ill health. The challenge seems to be how I respond to it. Because, quite franky, I know this will only start happening more. More lumps, moles, aches, injuries, imbalances, indicators, symptoms and so on. By acknowledging this truth, perhaps I can avoid the putting off or ignoring of new ailments and see them for what they are - inevitable. And if I come at it from that perspective, maybe I’ll save enough mental and emotional energy to work with these new ailments, finding a way to live alongside them.
3. I am of the nature to die. There is no way to escape death.
Well, there ya go. It doesn’t get any more direct than that. Which is why I think this is a good thing to remind myself of daily. Maybe it’ll help me continue to soften towards death. Maybe it’ll help me not get stuck on the small stuff. And again, maybe it’ll help me remember that my body is simply following the natural order of all things.
This next one is tough…
4. All that is dear to me, and everyone I love, are of the nature to change. I cannot escape being separated from them.
Oof. Like a shot to the heart, right? The truth of this is so astounding, and can help give a new perspective. Point in case; my sweet ‘first born’ dog, Spanky, has had some concerning health issues lately which culminated in her needing an ultrasound to determine the underlying issue. While waiting for the appointment day to arrive, I experienced this particular ‘remembrance’ in a non theoretical way as I contemplated the possibility that this could be the beginning of the end of her life. Allowing for that (painful) thought gave me space to feel the anticipatory grief of eventually being separated from her. And had I not let myself feel that, I don’t think I would have felt the relief as acutely when we learned that she has something that is totally manageable. This remembrance shows me how anticipatory grief can go hand-in-hand with appreciation by opening me to what life brings, fully feeling both sadness and gratitude.
5. My actions are my only true possession. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand.
This feels like a balm to me after four intense realities. How we grow old, how we respond to ill health, how we let our inevitable death inform how we live, how we care for things in our lives - that’s it. That’s what’s real. And our biggest, greatest work is to stay present to it all, so we can grow intentionally, respond better, live fuller, and love more.
One of my teachers, Tias Little, once off-handedly said something like, ‘if you know your parameters, then you’re totally free.” In committing to The Five Remembrances, I know what I cannot escape, which informs where limitless potential remains; in my everyday actions, with everyone and everything, in every moment. And that is the ground upon which I stand.
As I wrote about my personal experiences and musings on growing old, bad health, death, and being separated from what I love, I also thought of these things on a larger scale. Seeing, daily, children who will never grow old. Life saving resources being withheld. Traumatic death. And so many people losing everything they love.
Which is why I find the action piece is so beneficial. One of the most direct ways we can expand our compassion is to let ourselves feel our own losses, our own fears, our own heartache. My hope is that as I tap into this more, I am better able to take actions that create a safer, more sustainable world for all. My hope in sharing this with you is that it sparks something similar.